Pathetic Excuse

I can feel my soul slowly drifting from my body

I feel as light as feathers and at the same time I’m just as fragile as porcelain

I’m pathetic as always

I don’t even want to fight my way to stay just like what they keep on telling me or maybe telling my body.

I’m not sure if I’m still inside

I’m smiling all my way to hell because all the sinners and non believers have no ticket to heaven’s door just like what they always say.



I heard them still screaming and some are praying

I don’t even understand why do they have to do it??

Not that I’m gonna say thanks to them for saving my life

Well but then, that’s human right??

They’re always trying to be a saint or Santa

They never wanna read the sign first before taking the action

Is it so f****** difficult just to let me go??

I don’t wanna be save anyway

If I wanna be saved then why the hell did I take those things and mix them up??

I’m not those attention b****** that live in Hollywood



Oh, boy, save your energy and go back home

Go kiss your lover and leave this broken man alone

Stay away forever and don’t turn your back or even think about it again when you’re going to sleep at night

It seems like I should have to tattooed those words on my skins right before I drained those candies along with the colas down to my throat

And I think I should give them applause since they haven’t given up on me

And I also heard someone is cursing

Ha! I think that must be my landlord

I haven’t paid my room for about three months to that old man

Which mean he hasn’t gone to see those burlesque queens since the alt time I paid him

No one’s gonna feed his old wallet with money though

Lucky him that I still love his crap castle looked like mini apartment



Back again to those people

I think their angers are finally reaching their top

And they’re trying to shove a long and weird tasted like thing down to my esophagus

Deep… deep… and deep inside

They’re trying to choke me

They looked like those little children that lost in a game

Now, I’m the one that frustrated

Can’t they just stop it now??



In the middle of the chaos I feel a warm liquid running down to my nose and reach my chapped lips

Which I swear wasn’t mine

There’s no way I’m gonna cry

Tears are more expensive then gold and silver

And I heard a familiar sob

A sob that feels like my long lost home

The warmth that has lost somewhere under my bed or inside my closet or somewhere else inside the crap castle

Somewhere I don’t know



They’re screaming now about losing me or something where I should be happy and start on planning for my big party in hell but shit…

I just stop in here and feel guilty for doing what I have done

That’s all just because his sobs

Is it too late for me to feel regret now??

Well, I’m a human. I’m also greedy just like them.