Nastalgia?
So a lot has happened since I've been on here. I moved into my first apartment by myself, got two tattoos, got a rat, went back to school, I'm talking to my mum again, and now I might be moving back to my hometown of Chilliwack.
My apartment is pretty...well actually is a h*** in the ground piece of s***. There's always a pack of junkies sitting on the porch yelling at whoever happens to walk by. One of my neighbours is always smoking pot, which stinks up my house, has his tv on so loud that I know what he's watching when I'm in my room, and has about 7 people over constantly and they make a lot of noise.
My other neighbour is this creepy guy in his 40's with two sons my age. He always see's me and says stuff like, "Hey sugar, how you doin'?" Which kind of reminds me of Joey from Friends...if he was a pedophile. And there's constantly hookers walking the halls.
Not to mention my toilet leaks, I didn't have heat for the first month and it was FREEZING! My kitchen sink leaks...a lot. I don't have cable or internet, and the tv I have is too old to hook up my playstation or even watch movies on, so because I know NO ONE in this town besides my mum and my two sisters, I pretty much sit at home and read books about serial killers and tormented families in Africa. Exciting isn't it? Stay a kid as long as you can, and live with your parents as long as you can. Because once you live on your own, have bills and all that jaz, it's all over.
So I have two tattoos now. My first one is my cat's name with a heart above it on my shoulder. I was close to s******* my pants when I was waiting for George to draw it up. I had about 4 smokes in the 15minutes it took him to get everything ready and I was totally shaking like a mother f*****. See, I have this horrible fear of needles. But it actually wasn't that bad. It didn't hurt at all.
My second one is a rainbow on my wrist. It's just the outline right now because I was too cheap to get color. In about two weeks I'm going back to get color though.
I got a rat. The first one I got was an albino rat ( all white with red eyes ), his name was Paris. The night I brought him home he was sneezing out what I thought was blood. Turns out the breeders that the pet store goes through, was using infected pine bedding to transport the rats to the store. So he had a respitory infection.
I brought him back to the store and got a new rat. She's about 3months old and she's brown. She sort of looks like a mini sewer rat and her name is Lovato. She's seriously so adorable. I'll take her out of her cage and she'll just fall asleep on my shoulder while I read.
I'm talking to my mum now. I still haven't told her I know about my dad. I don't know if I will any time soon. I still hate her in a way for not telling me. That's definately something youshould NEVER lie to your kids about. NEVER. It's just not right. But she's my mother. And she helps me in every way she can since she knows it's hard as hell to be 17 living on your own and going to school and all that jaz.
And I might be moving back to my home town of Chilliwack. I really miss it there. At first I thought it was because I miss all my friends...which is sort of true. But the only friend I miss is Alex. She's really the only friend I ever hang out with. None of the other ones matter much. but I also miss it because..everything's just so familiar. I can walk ANYWHERE in town that I want to. There's so many good memories there. This town just has too many bad ones. It's where I lived with my dad when I was little. Even though it's been a long time, it still hurts to walk passed the wave pool and remember when he would drive me and my brother there while he was drinking from a 2'6. Or to go passed my old elementary school... french emmersion. Me and him used to talk in french at home all the time and my mum didn't understand a word we were saying. Or to go into the old townhouses and walk around the gully. My dad built us a tree house in the gully years ago. It had blue, yellow and red windows in the shape of squares, triangles and hearts. I used to go there and sit in it at night when I first moved here. But they tore it down. I remember when I was little, Brooke was running down the hill in the gully to get me and her little sister, she was bare foot and she ended up running over a rusty screw. It went right through her foot. Or the time me and my brother found a bird's nest. They all still hurt because I miss those times. And then it makes me think of the bad times. Chilliwack was all about hanging out with friends, tormenting our teachers, doing things just because our parents said we couldn't, punk shows, although, I don't miss those much. It's not even about the bands anymore. It's more about a place to get f***** out of your skull and your parents will never find out. I really hate that. It should be about the music. That's how it used to be. Sure, we'd drink or get stonned, but the main reason we were there was to listen to the local bands and have a good time. Things have changed.
But I still can't wait to get back there. I think anyways. I don't know. I'm sort of scared that when I get back there...I'm going to wish I didn't. Most of the people I know that have stayed there their whole lives, have turned to harsh drugs and gangs. I really hope I'm strong enough not to do that. But who knows. I'm sure all my friends and family thought they were strong enough too. Hopefully I'm strong, I think I am.
My apartment is pretty...well actually is a h*** in the ground piece of s***. There's always a pack of junkies sitting on the porch yelling at whoever happens to walk by. One of my neighbours is always smoking pot, which stinks up my house, has his tv on so loud that I know what he's watching when I'm in my room, and has about 7 people over constantly and they make a lot of noise.
My other neighbour is this creepy guy in his 40's with two sons my age. He always see's me and says stuff like, "Hey sugar, how you doin'?" Which kind of reminds me of Joey from Friends...if he was a pedophile. And there's constantly hookers walking the halls.
Not to mention my toilet leaks, I didn't have heat for the first month and it was FREEZING! My kitchen sink leaks...a lot. I don't have cable or internet, and the tv I have is too old to hook up my playstation or even watch movies on, so because I know NO ONE in this town besides my mum and my two sisters, I pretty much sit at home and read books about serial killers and tormented families in Africa. Exciting isn't it? Stay a kid as long as you can, and live with your parents as long as you can. Because once you live on your own, have bills and all that jaz, it's all over.
So I have two tattoos now. My first one is my cat's name with a heart above it on my shoulder. I was close to s******* my pants when I was waiting for George to draw it up. I had about 4 smokes in the 15minutes it took him to get everything ready and I was totally shaking like a mother f*****. See, I have this horrible fear of needles. But it actually wasn't that bad. It didn't hurt at all.
My second one is a rainbow on my wrist. It's just the outline right now because I was too cheap to get color. In about two weeks I'm going back to get color though.
I got a rat. The first one I got was an albino rat ( all white with red eyes ), his name was Paris. The night I brought him home he was sneezing out what I thought was blood. Turns out the breeders that the pet store goes through, was using infected pine bedding to transport the rats to the store. So he had a respitory infection.
I brought him back to the store and got a new rat. She's about 3months old and she's brown. She sort of looks like a mini sewer rat and her name is Lovato. She's seriously so adorable. I'll take her out of her cage and she'll just fall asleep on my shoulder while I read.
I'm talking to my mum now. I still haven't told her I know about my dad. I don't know if I will any time soon. I still hate her in a way for not telling me. That's definately something youshould NEVER lie to your kids about. NEVER. It's just not right. But she's my mother. And she helps me in every way she can since she knows it's hard as hell to be 17 living on your own and going to school and all that jaz.
And I might be moving back to my home town of Chilliwack. I really miss it there. At first I thought it was because I miss all my friends...which is sort of true. But the only friend I miss is Alex. She's really the only friend I ever hang out with. None of the other ones matter much. but I also miss it because..everything's just so familiar. I can walk ANYWHERE in town that I want to. There's so many good memories there. This town just has too many bad ones. It's where I lived with my dad when I was little. Even though it's been a long time, it still hurts to walk passed the wave pool and remember when he would drive me and my brother there while he was drinking from a 2'6. Or to go passed my old elementary school... french emmersion. Me and him used to talk in french at home all the time and my mum didn't understand a word we were saying. Or to go into the old townhouses and walk around the gully. My dad built us a tree house in the gully years ago. It had blue, yellow and red windows in the shape of squares, triangles and hearts. I used to go there and sit in it at night when I first moved here. But they tore it down. I remember when I was little, Brooke was running down the hill in the gully to get me and her little sister, she was bare foot and she ended up running over a rusty screw. It went right through her foot. Or the time me and my brother found a bird's nest. They all still hurt because I miss those times. And then it makes me think of the bad times. Chilliwack was all about hanging out with friends, tormenting our teachers, doing things just because our parents said we couldn't, punk shows, although, I don't miss those much. It's not even about the bands anymore. It's more about a place to get f***** out of your skull and your parents will never find out. I really hate that. It should be about the music. That's how it used to be. Sure, we'd drink or get stonned, but the main reason we were there was to listen to the local bands and have a good time. Things have changed.
But I still can't wait to get back there. I think anyways. I don't know. I'm sort of scared that when I get back there...I'm going to wish I didn't. Most of the people I know that have stayed there their whole lives, have turned to harsh drugs and gangs. I really hope I'm strong enough not to do that. But who knows. I'm sure all my friends and family thought they were strong enough too. Hopefully I'm strong, I think I am.
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