the forgotten

I’m a 15 year old girl who lives in the Philippines. To be a model was my dream and now my job. I’ve been to a lot of places, work with different designers and met a lot of celebs. I never had a boyfriend before. There was this boy in our school I really love. I learned to love him secretly coz he has a girlfriend. They are happy together. Everybody loves their combination. They always say that they are perfect for eachother. I knew I don’t have a place in his heart but still I keep loving him. I’m hoping someday we could be together and never fall apart but I guess it will always remain a dream.
Call me the girl you never knew,
Call me the girl you never notice,
Call me the girl you never thought I’d be,
Call me the girl you never dare to see.
I walk infront of you but you never give a damn.
After all these years, this tears and this fears.
If only we have a chance of being together.
I’m the girl who will love you ‘til the end of time,
Just call me The forgotten.

When I became a model I barely go to school. I got busy with my job. Since I was earning money, I told my mom that I should just be home schooled. She agreed to that so, I stop going to school. It’s been a long time I haven’t seen him. I ask my bestfriends, Vera and Camille about him. Vera said “as usual, they are still together and I think their relationship is going stronger and better” “but they suck when they are together!” Camille inserted. I wasn’t surprise to hear that thing.

It was a sunny day and I don’t have any work. There were no classes. I called Vera and asked if we could go shopping, and she agreed.
We were at the mall having real good time. We went spa together. We even got our nails done. After the long day, we decided to have a dinner. While waiting for the waiter to come to us… I saw him with his lovely girl. If only I could go there and steal him away from her I would really do it. But I can’t. I don’t wanna be a boyfriend stealer.
Camille: if you want we could eat to some restaurants so you won’t be so hurt.
The forgotten: no, it’s okay.
Vera: it’s a starry starry night but in your world it’s raining fire like hell!
The forgotten: it’s okay… I’ll be okay. I’m used to it. After all those years of loving him… I got so used to it.
We continued eating eventhough I lose my appetite.
We went home after it. Vera and Camille had a sleepover at my house. We had fun the whole night. We watched movies, eat a lot of foods, and the best thing ‘bout that night was prank calls. It was fun and we enjoyed it.

2 months of not seeing him but still I can’t take him off my mind. I decided to have a break and figure something not stupid this time. I went to a cruise so I have the whole time to think ‘bout all these things. I thought i could think for a solution but how? He was there. He was alone too. I wanna go to him and make friends but I fear for maybe he will just ignore me.

April 24, 2008. will be my last day in the cruise. I keep taking pictures. I’m making everything so memorable so if i will retrospect I could remember good thing son my trip. I was so busy taking pictures. I didn’t notice my bag was opened and my things are falling down. He saw it picked it up.
“excuse me, is this yours?”
(I looked at my bag and it was really mine) “uhmm yah, thanks a lot. ”
“you’re welcome”
(then I walked away)
“wait!” he said.
(I looked back) “is there something wrong?”
“uhmm no, nothing… this may sound stupid but are you alone?”
“huh? Uhmmm.. yah…”
“can I come with you? I’m not a bad person.”
“uuuuuhhhhh sure... ”

We were hanging out the whole day. I didn’t ask him about his girlfriend and he also didn’t bother to say anything about her. He never said anything serious the whole day. Then the day was over. He takes me to my room.
“can we have dddiiiinnneeerrr?”
“uhh huh? Uhmm … yah,… sure”
“I’ll just go here later.”
“uhmm yah, sure… ”

We have dinner together. We toured the whole ship. The last place we went was on the top of the ship.
“can we dance?”
“uhmm… you sure? We don’t have any music?”
“the sound of the sea will be our music…”
“that’s cool”
“actually we don’t need to have music so we could dance, right?”
“yah…”
We were dancing and the sea breeze was our music. We were quiet the whole time. Then suddenly he said
“I think we found something real”
And I looked at him and said “what do you mean by that?” and he just smiled at me.

The next day we arrived at manila. I saw him from a far. I wanna go to him but his girlfriend was there. My heart was crushed. I feel so broken. I wish I could stand in the rain so no one can see me crying but I’m hoping you’d be there to comfort me. I hope last night will never end but it did and now I still remain The forgotten. All I got in this trip is the question “what does he mean by the words I think we found something real?”

I called Vera and Camille. ‘bout the whole thing that had happened. She told me
Vera: i think he likes you
The forgotten: I think not. He has a girlfriend and they are happy together
Camille: duh? He could pretend he’s happy eventhough it’s not easy!
The forgotten: aaaaaaaahhhhhh… I’m so confused already… I don’t like him anymore. He can’t just play with my heart. I’m so tired of keep loving him. I wish Someone would just love me.
Vera: of course! Just wait for destiny”
The forgotten: you know I don’t believe in destiny but you keep telling me it exist when it’s not
Vera: I’m sorry…
The forgotten: yah, whatever
Vera: I already said I’m sorry
The forgotten: okay… you’re forgiven
Vera: thanks
The forgotten: I wish I could just die
Camille: I thought you were used to it?
The forgotten: yah, but sometimes it’s too much. Too much pain can kill
Camille: don’t worry I ‘ll invite him on your funeral.
The forgotten: uhh! How could you say that?
Camille: I was just kidding… don’t take that seriously…