xoxo

Benj... u don't know what u mean to me... n' u don't know how much ur hurting me.... I wanna feel your hand agaisnt mine, like before...

GC's not coming to Sweden... ;( There my last hope disappeared...

My 3 favorite bands <3

Gillar Du Simple Plan??? Besök det här forumet, det behövs! :D
http://spmusic.egetforum.se/forum/index.php

This is my GC story:
It was spring 2005. I just bought a magazine. And there was an interview with a guy named Joel Madden from a band called Good Charlotte. I thought that was some "trying to be cool" band, and turned to the next page.

Later that summer, I bought a calendar for school. It just happened to have a band called Good Charlotte on the cover. I felt a bit irritated about that, especially since my brother started annoying me with comments like: That's your favorite band. You are inlove with the one who's got the most tattoos, and the wierdest haircut. I shouted at him to stop. He didn’t. The rest of the holidays, he kept on annoying me with Good Charlotte comments. And I hated it. They weren’t even cute. Exept for maybe that boy named Billy. So one day I decided to buy a magazine. A magzine to remember from my summer holidays. And my brother couldn’t be happier. And I couldn’t be angrier. There was a MEGA POSTER of Good Charlotte in it. And at this time it sounds like I have actually started to like the band, and that I bought the magazine with Good Charlotte on purpose. Well I didn’t. And now, my friends, it is up to you to believe me or not.
So my brother kept on annyoing me, and soon we came home. When we did, my brother insisted to put up the MEGA poster of Good Charlotte on my wall. I resisted. So we made a deal. I would make him a test about the cute guy Billy from GC, and if he passed, he would put the poster up, and if he didn’t, I’d never have to see it again. So I tried to make it as hard as possible for him without having to collect much boring information. And to my surprise: He passed the test. And did he give me mercy? No. He put the poster up, and I hated it SO much. Then he wanted me to listen to a song. I agreed. This was the first time I actually wanted to know if this band was s*** or not. So he downloaded a song called ”I Just Wanna Live”. I listened to it. And I loved it. Now, this had became an awkward situation. Of course, I couldn’t tell my brother. So I said I hated it. But my brother downloaded more songs, and I listened to them as well. I loved them all. But I still didn’t tell my brother. But obviously, he caught me listening to the songs again and again. And this is the time when I admitted. These songs were actually very good. My brother laughed.

Soon, I began to look after the most tattooed guy with the haircut. I found out that his name was Benji. Actually Benjamin Madden. Google became my best friend, and all I did was look for pics of him, and information. He had a dog called Cashdog. He was a few minutes older, and a bit shorter than his brother Joel. They were born the 11: th of March 1979. 14 years before me. All kinds of facts. True and false facts. Sadly, that fact about him not having a girlfriend was a false one. But I just kept daydreaming, and felt like the happiest girl in the world. I bought the album The Young and The Hopeless, and loved it. I loved everything about this band. This band, which I really didn’t care for at the beginning, had became my reason to get up in the morning. A new day with Good Charlotte = a good day. Luckily, I had good friends who stood out with me talking about GC all them time. They did complain sometimes, but they never left me.

Well, soon I became a bit older, and problems came. All sorts of problems, with my family, with my friends, with school. You know how it is when puberty starts. But one thing, helped me. It was a voice. It was the voice of Joel Madden. Always when I had a bad day, a really bad day, I would turn on a song where I could har Joels voice really clearly. And that helped. I had nobody to talk to. I didn’t want to bring more problems to my parents, they had problems enough, so I had no one to talk to. So I listened to Joels voice (and sometimes Benjis too). And it’s strange, how only a voice, a song, can make one feel so moved, that it feels like you connect with the whole band. But that was how I felt. I felt like I belonged to this band. These guys Joel, Billy, Benji and Paul had my heart. And you still do. And this, made it a bit easier for me to get up those really shitty days, when I just felt like digging a whole and barying myself. When school made me tired, I knew I had something good to come home to. Good Charlottes music. And Good Charlotte was a whole world for me. A whole new world, to which I could escape when daily life became bad.

Unfortunatley, that day came when I actually found out that Benji did have a girlfriend. I think I cried for hours. And days. And weeks. Maybe months. Strong reaction, I know. But that’s me. Or it was at least. I couldn’t stop thinking of him. Never. He was always in my mind. Wherever I went. I always pictured him standing in front of me, wherever I went.

I was just recently looking thru a dairy of mine. This is what I wrote (I was reading the Harry Potter books):


The Erised-mirror

If the Erised-mirror shows the deepest desire of ours… I wonder if I would see Benji Madden standing next to me? I would like to meet him some day, or I would LOVE to…

The last part looks a bit wierd, but I decided to write down everything here. Well time flew by, and GC became a part of my life, just like sleeping, eating, surviving. They were always there, even though I didn’t think about them every single minute anymore.
So one day, in 2007, I found out that GC were coming to Sweden. That made me jump up and down in the kitchen in front of my mom. I’m still wondering what she thought in that moment. Then, obiously, I bought two tickets, one for me, one for my brother (I had no idea that I would have to sell them later). I was the happiest girl alive. So I waited for the 29: th of May 2007. I learned all the lyrics to Good Morning Revival faster than to any other of the records. I couldn’t be more exited, I thought. I had no idea.

One day, there was maybe two weeks left to the show, I was just surfing on the internet. I went to the website of MTV. There was a competition. A competition where you could win two tickets to the Good Charlotte-show in Stockholm. Plus to meet the band. The task was: Why do YOU deserve to meet GC? So I wrote. And I wrote. And I wrote. I can’t even remember all of it. But the main part was: Because my heart is spelled ”Good Charlotte”. The winners were supposed to get to know on the Wednesday the same week. I waited with exitement the whole Wednesday. No call. I didn’t give up hoping, and waited Thursday too. No call. On Friday, I started to understand the fact that my reason wasn’t good enough. There was someone who had a better one. So I could finally realx in school, even though I was a bit sad. When I came home in the afternoon, there was a note in the kitchen. Call this number: And obviously I can’t write down the number, I hope you understand. So I called it. There was a woman named Emma. And she wanted to tell me something. That I would actually meet Good Charlotte in Stockholm! I screamed out: WHAAAAT? And she said: Yes, its true. I was in heaven. Right after that phone call, I called up my best friend, and screamed a little for her too, and we talked about the fact for a while.

Now, I was more exited than ever. I planned questions, I planned what to say. It’s so easy to plan, and so hard to stick to the plan you come up with.

On the 29: th of May, we went to Stockholm. And I met Good Charlotte. We were standing in a corridor, and a door opened. I saw Billy coming out of their dressing room, and I just put my hands to my mouth and stared. A little rude, I know. But what could I do? I had been dreaming about this moment for years, and now it was happening. Billy said hi, and I just hugged him. I regret I did that, since it was rude, and I think that Billy felt a little embarassed. But hen I only had eyes for one person in the corridor. Everybody else just disappeard. Benji was standing one meter away from me. I could not believe it. He looked at me thruogh dark sunglasses, and I melted. I gave him a hug (which I also regret beacuse it was rude) and told him I loved him. And he was just like: Yeah. Thinking like: I’ve heard that a thousand times before. You’re not alone. But still, he is one of the nicest persons I have ever met. He asked my name, signed ,my arm, and signed my GMR (which my brother had). And I could not stop staring. I hope he didn’t feel uncomfortable. The love of my life stood in front of me, and actually saw me. Something I couldn’t have even hoped for. Well, I met Joel, and Paul, and Deano too. Time flew by far to quick. We took a picture, and then it was Goodbye. Paul said he liked my t-shirt, and asked me if I’d been a fan for long. I think I said a few years. I gave Paul a hug, and we had to leave. I was so sad, but at the same time happy. We sold the tickets outside of Globen. But I hadn’t asked a single question I planned. I had not done anything I planned. And it all felt like s***. Of course, I had a great time at the show, and it was the best I’d ever been to, and so on. But I felt like I hadn’t said anything that I wanted to the guys. I would have wanted to tell them that they were everything for me, that they showed me a world I didn’t even know existed. But I didn’t. And I felt like a jerk. I had been so rude, so stupid, just another fangirl who couldn’t behave.

Time flew by again, and things happened, GC was coming to Sweden on the 4: th of April 2008. But they never came. And maybe it was good, cause on the 29: th of March, after standing 4 hours queing to the Simple Plan show, I got the flu. But I was still dissapointed. Maybe it was cause they didn’t come on a later date. So scince the 29: th of May 2007 I’m still waiting. Still waiting to see my Role Models one more time. I would want to meet them again, and try to explain my rudeness and my feelings. But I won’t. That was a once in a lifetime experience. Don’t think I’m not happy to have met them, I am, but I feel like I didn’t take the chance while I had it. I just stood there and stared. That’s a terrible feeling, when you know that the persons you love above most things, are standing in front of you, and your words don’t come out like they were supposed to. That’s a terrible feeling, to have to walk away from people you admire, without have said half of the things you wanted, without having explained any of the emotions you had. It’s terrible because you know that was your chance, and there you blew it.

I still, to this day, love and admire Good Charlotte. I’m damn proud to be a fan of them. And always will be. I will always follow Good Charlotte on the way, wherever they go. And I will never forget what they did for me, I will never forget that they opened a new world for me. They made me happier. And they still do. To this day. Now I sound like a stupid girl explaining her foolish fellings, but hey, I never said that this GC story would be special in any way. This is my reason, my reason to love something special. Good Charlotte forever. <3
Congratulations to you who read it all.