opinions please!?!?!
so i wrote this poem and a lot of my friends said it was good but i was wondering what some of you guys would think. You have to be perfectly honest...dont lie and say its good so you dont hurt my fellings. you can commet on here, my page, or message me i dont care..i get on every day so ill get it one way or anther.
The sound of his voice cuts me deep,
Too much pain, too hard to think.
Tears like razorblades trickle down my face,
Blood running down at a super slow pace.
His laughter is calming to all but me,
I sit there alone in painful agony.
Wishing there was something to make it go away,
Just for a second, minute, or day.
Alone in my room,his face in my thoughts,
Soon this note will be found by the cops,
Who come to take my body away,
To store in the ground to rot away.
The tears I wept for him seemed to be more,
Then the ones they shed on the funural home floor.
This is the end, and i died in sin,
All because I loved him.
So what do you think?
ATTENTION: WELL I JUST GOT GOOD NEWS. WELL LIKE WILLIAM SUGGESTED I HAD MY FRIEND TRANSPOSE IT INTO A SONG AND I JUST GAVE WILLIAM AND HIS BAND PERMISSION TO USE IT SO IF YOU LIKE THE POEM I HOPE YOU LIKE THE SONG!!!!!!!! THANKS WILLIAM!!!! XD
The sound of his voice cuts me deep,
Too much pain, too hard to think.
Tears like razorblades trickle down my face,
Blood running down at a super slow pace.
His laughter is calming to all but me,
I sit there alone in painful agony.
Wishing there was something to make it go away,
Just for a second, minute, or day.
Alone in my room,his face in my thoughts,
Soon this note will be found by the cops,
Who come to take my body away,
To store in the ground to rot away.
The tears I wept for him seemed to be more,
Then the ones they shed on the funural home floor.
This is the end, and i died in sin,
All because I loved him.
So what do you think?
ATTENTION: WELL I JUST GOT GOOD NEWS. WELL LIKE WILLIAM SUGGESTED I HAD MY FRIEND TRANSPOSE IT INTO A SONG AND I JUST GAVE WILLIAM AND HIS BAND PERMISSION TO USE IT SO IF YOU LIKE THE POEM I HOPE YOU LIKE THE SONG!!!!!!!! THANKS WILLIAM!!!! XD
Views: 0
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Noel})i({ on -
thats good a little vauge and it could have been a little less rhymey (pomes dont have to be all rhymey )
-
Permalink Reply by mandiXannXlonely on -
thanks....umm i guess i was just in the mood. most of mine dont but this one idk
-
Permalink Reply by mandiXannXlonely on
-
i made an update!
-
Permalink Reply by stalefish skater on -
hay no problem in the next 2-4 years here it would be a big #1 hit and you can find the name of my band at the top of my page/profile
-
Permalink Reply by stalefish skater on
-
my band is not together anymore so u will here it on one of my solo albums
-
Permalink Reply by EmoGirlYuki on -
I really do like your poem but I think William's an a****** right now...........I'll get over it.....eventually....Anyway, it's a really great poem. One of the best I've heard all year. Good luck with future poems!
-
Permalink Reply by stalefish skater on
-
you think that im an a****** well you haven't seen the best untill you see the YOUNG MARINES
-
Permalink Reply by mandiXannXlonely on
-
Im sorry. thank you. Ive many many different opinions and since the year is almost over im glad that it is one of the best!
-
Permalink Reply by rancidrancid on -
its good....
-
Permalink Reply by _PINKFR33K_ on
-
omg!
i know i am NOT a guy or anything but i had to read the poem, and yea i cried because that poem reminds me soo much of my ex, so i loved it. i felt what you were feeling at that moment. but yea.
amber
-
Permalink Reply by KandyCane on -
It's amazing and I know the feeling. That's how I've felt these past couple weeks.
- ‹ Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3
- Next ›
GC IPHONE APP
Music
Links
Photos
© 2012 Created by Good Charlotte.
